*Just
a disclaimer that this is an in depth description of my pregnancy and
birth of my daughter and I do talk a lot about the procedures. Although I
do not go into any graphic detail I still suggest that if you are not
comfortable with that or you have any triggers, to avoid this article*
(I
do a lot of comparing to my sons pregnancy in this post so I've
italicized the sections where I'm talking about his birth so it doesn't
get too confusing)
Where do you generally
start with a birth story? I guess Fiona's started back in January when I
had my second ever miscarriage. It's hard to want to try again after
that happens, it just really makes you think that maybe your body isn't
ready, adequate, and in my case I thought maybe I wasn't fit and healthy
enough?? Those are definitely not true thoughts but they ran through my
head and gave me doubts anyway. Well I had my son and he was perfectly
healthy and happy so I knew I could do it again and love any baby that
came our way. We became pregnant with Fiona almost immediately after we
started trying again and yes even though I was trying to be positive
about it I still was very cautious of my feelings for the first 12 weeks
which was hard because it kept me from being excited. After 2 or 3
ultrasounds and several chances to hear her heartbeat, I finally became
very excited and let myself start wondering what the gender of this baby
would be.